I Am Here by Idea Vilariño

Eponine Howarth

Estoy aquí

Estoy aquí
en el mundo
en un lugar del mundo
o no vengas
me estoy aquí

Decir no
decir no
atarme al mástil
deseando que el viento lo voltee
que la sirena suba y con los dientes
corte las cuerdas y me arrastre al fondo
diciendo no no no
pero siguiéndola.

No te amaba

No te amaba
no te amo
bien sé que no
que no
que es la luz
es la hora
la tarde de verano
lo sé
pero te amo
te amo esta tarde
como te amé otras tardes
con ciego amor
con ira
con tristísima ciencia
más allá de deseos
o ilusiones
o esperas
y esperando no obstante
que venías
por fin
que llegabas
de paso.

I am here

I am here
in the world
in a place in the world
or don't come

Saying no
saying no
tying myself to the mast
wishing for the wind to blow it over
for the mermaid to come up and with her teeth
cut the ropes and drag me to the bottom
saying no no no no
yet following her.

I didn’t love you

I didn’t love you
I do not love you
I know that I don't
that I do not
that it's the light
it's the time
the summer evening
I know that
but I love you
I love you this afternoon
as I loved you other afternoons
with blind love
with anger
with sad knowledge
beyond wishes
or illusions
or hopes
and waiting nonetheless
waiting for you
that you were coming
at last
that you were arriving
passing by.

Idea Vilariño (1929-2009) was an Uruguayan poet, translator, essayist, and literary critic. She grew up in Montevideo, where she taught high school for many years. In 1985, after the dictatorship of Uruguay ended, she joined the faculty at the University of the Republic in Montevideo. She died in Montevideo in 2009.

Idea was part of a group of writers called the Generación del ’45 (“Generation of ’45”), which also included the writers Juan Carlos Onetti, Mario Benedetti and Ángel Rama, among others. She published ten books. Her most famous, Poemas de amor (Love Poems, 1957) is dedicated to Uruguayan novelist, Juan Carlos Onetti.

The Generation of '45 on the occasion of the visit of Juan Ramón Jiménez. From left to right, standing: Maria Zulema Silva Vila, Manuel Claps, Carlos Maggi, María Inés Silva Vila, Juan Ramón Jiménez, Idea Vilariño, Emir Rodríguez Monegal, Ángel Rama. Seated: José Pedro Díaz, Amanda Berenguer, Zenobia Camprubí, Ida Vitale, Elda Lago, Manuel Flores Mora.

Eponine Howarth

Eponine Howarth is co-editor-in-chief of La Piccioletta Barca.

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